Nightmare on Homeschool Street!



It started on a Monday. Just like all school days start. I was in an unusally chipper mood that morning. Excited, anxious, determined to start and finish the school day on time! I did my usual morning routine: bathroom, put contacts in, smooch on my hubby, make sure the girls are ready to go, more smooching on my hubby, breakfast, and of course, more smooches! I remember having a half of a bagel with cream cheese and a cappuccino for breakfast. You tend to remember these things after a near death experience. Then, the school day began.

Everything was going surprising smooth. We were cruising through the subject- Bible lesson, Spelling, Reading, Phonics; one by one they were being taken down in defeat. She was a “school warrior” today! A miniture female version of David from the Bible.  I should have known it was too good to be true!

I was feeling on-top-of the world great at this moment! I felt like a fat kid in a donut shop happy! I’m not ashamed to say it, but I was proud of myself for being a great teacher! Now just one more subject to go….mathematics. No big deal, Lily had being doing great in this subject! I took the math book and opened up to the day’s lesson. Learning how many minutes, days, seconds, months, etc.. the everyday lingo we hear on a regular basis. This is when everything started to get a little foggy.

We started off just fine.Then we came to the months of the year.  She started with July, then November, then September, and last was May. I told her she missed a few. A technique I use on an occasion like this is the “repeat after me” technique. So I started with January. She  repeated it perfectly. Then I said, “February.” She repeated it. Then I had her repeat the first two months we just said. She said, “July, November.” I think I twitched a little. So, we started over. She then said, “twelve.” Now, my eye is twitching. We started again. She said the correct months! So, we add two more months to the ones we just learned; January to April. I must have been speaking a different language because all I got from her was a blank stare! So, we started again. After about an hour of   yo-yo-ing back and worth, we decided to call it a day.

The next few days were a complete blur. I remember crying, getting upset, lots of head shaking, lots of head banging, and lots of uncontrollable laughter. I literally thought I was going to have a stroke. I could feel the blood flow in the veins of my neck rushing the blood to my face with every wrong answer she gave. I started having headaches, cramps, profuse sweating, body aches, and I even started to dream about it. Running naked down a street shouting the months of the year, made me terrified to sleep!

I even contemplated skipping this math chapter. Afterall, is she really going to need to know this stuff? My husband convinced me that wasn’t a good idea, and he offered to help her on Thursday evening. Exhausted, and starting to get delirious….I agreed. I was thinking about how the week was over tomorrow, TGIF!

Friday was finally here! I made it, well almost. We completed all subjects, and left math for last. I opened the book with a look of dread and fear all over my face. I closed my eyes, I told Lily to say the months, then held my breath. She said them perfectly. I thought I was hallucinating. So, I told her to say them again. She did, perfectly! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I was back to my happy place again! The color returned to my face, I didn’t have the twitch anymore. I was cured! My “Kryptonite” was January through December and  I destroyed it! It was short-lived when I realized that her daddy worked with her for one night, and she got it. My ego was a little bruised, but who cares….she got it! I’ ll let my hubby take credit for this just this once!!


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