So, I had a thought about relationships that we have today. When it comes to intimate relationships or just friendships, why can’t people be honest anymore? Why do men and women feel the need to lie, and in most cases about really stupid things? It seems like the older I get, the more I see it happen.
Telling fibs seem to be a norm in our society today. People these days will lie their way out of EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING. Not every occasion calls for a lie….actually no occasion calls for it. SO why do people do it? I think the reason is simple-no consequences! The people who tell the lies are not held accountable for their deceit. The only people who are accountable are the people who confront these “false bearers.” I’ve noticed this a lot here lately. If you confront someone, who is being dishonest, you are the bad guy! Uh….WHAT?? Since when do people who confront someone doing wrong is the one doing wrong? Am I missing something here? I experienced this just recently. Here is the story in a nutshell:
I had a so-called best friend who showed her true colors after I confronted her about her tall-tales! We were friends for a little over a year. Our husbands worked together, our kids played together. Our families enjoyed each others company. BUT, there was something that always felt wrong about the whole situation. I would chat with my hubby about my “bad feelings” almost on a daily basis. He would always tell me, “well, all you can do is be a good friend and pray for her.” That’s what I did. I pushed my gut intuition to the side, mostly for the sake of my husband. After all he had to work with her husband. Well, turned out my gut instinct wasn’t just gas, but turned out to be spot on. She would tell me things about her life, past relationships, her family, etc.. What she didn’t realize was her husband was also telling my husband these types of things also. Little did they both know, but my husband and I share everything. We both started to see a flaw in their stories. She would say one thing, her husband a completely different story. My first thought was… DUH! You would think that they would realize that married couples share everything. There were other red flags that I later found out. She had no contact with her parents, and in the midst of being her friend, she also cut out another family member. It was always someone else’s fault, never her own. Again the lies were really building up now.
Well, now to the end. I got to the point where everything that spewed from her mouth had to be taken with a grain of salt. I started to distance myself from her because I couldn’t be around someone who didn’t give me enough respect to be honest. I was always honest with her, except when it came to my true feelings of her deceit. That I kept to myself and only shared with my hubby. After about 3 months of not hearing anything from her, I felt relieved that I didn’t have to put up with it anymore. Oh, was I wrong! She decided to send me a friend request on Facebook. I ignored it, and hit delete. Then, she wrote me a message, asking me what my problem was. Well, I told her the truth. I listed out the lies that she told. You know what she did? She sure as heck didn’t deny them, she decided to name call, use profanity, and tell me that everyone hates me. She turned it around to make me look like I was the one who was at fault. This still boggles my mind. I didn’t lie, I was the honest one, yet I was treated like a criminal. Unbelievable!
This got me thinking. In our world today, the honest people are suppose to overlook the dishonesty of others. Says who? Why are people so scared to be honest anymore. I define a meaningful relationship with anyone as one filled with complete honesty. That’s what real friendship is. A relationship, no matter which kind, will always fall apart without honesty. I will never apologize for being honest with anyone. If I did then I would be deceiving myself. We don’t have to put up with dishonest people anymore. No more passivity, stand up to those that deceive you. You are better than that, and there are better people in this world…trust me on that! No pun intended! Ever since, I stood up for myself, I’ve made some amazing friends! I replaced 1 bad friend with 20 plus amazing friends! It was a relief to say the least! Remember “Honesty is the Best Policy!”